When Faith Becomes More Than Words

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"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." 

Proverbs 3:5–6

People often ask me what solidified my faith.

It wasn't because life became easy.

It wasn't because every prayer was answered the way I wanted.

It wasn't because I was spared suffering.

My faith was forged in one of the darkest valleys of my life.

Psalm 23:4 says, "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me." 

Looking back, I realize that God never promised I wouldn't walk through the valley – He promised that He would walk through it with me.

In 2011, my life changed in an instant.

I was at work when I suddenly noticed my vision beginning to disappear. Everything around me seemed to fade. I remember the cashier beside me asking if I was okay. I looked at her and simply said, "No... get help."

The next thing I remember was waking up in the back of an ambulance.

That was the beginning of months filled with seizures, emergency room visits, countless tests, and doctors who couldn't explain what was happening.

Eventually, they found something.

Deep within my brain was an arteriovenous malformation (AVM) – a rare condition affecting less than one percent of the population. An AVM is an abnormal tangle of arteries and veins that disrupts normal blood flow between the arteries and veins. Because the vessels are fragile, they can rupture and cause life-threatening bleeding in the brain.

My first neurologist dismissed it, insisting it wasn't causing my symptoms. But I felt God nudging me not to settle so I sought a second opinion.

That decision may have saved my life.

After additional testing, the next neurologist walked into my hospital room with the results. His words still echo in my mind.

"Stop making plans, because one day you're going to wake up, turn on the TV, and that will be the last thing you do."

The AVM carried roughly an 80% chance of rupturing. If it did, I likely wouldn't survive.

I was devastated.

I had two options.

Radiation or brain surgery.

I met with an oncology provider to discuss radiation treatment. While conversing with the provider, I experienced something that forever changed my faith.

It wasn't an audible voice, but it was unmistakable.

Deep in my spirit, I felt God saying,

"Choose the surgery. I have more plans for you."

At that moment, Jeremiah 29:11 came to life: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Brain surgery carried incredible risks, yet I walked away with an unexplainable peace.

I knew one thing.

Either God was going to be with me through surgery, or I was going to be with Him.

Either way, I belonged to Him.

Romans 14:8 says, "If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord."

Finding a surgeon willing to operate became another battle. Because of the location and complexity of the AVM, many considered it too dangerous. Eventually, God opened the right door.

During surgery, the surgeons discovered something no one knew was there.

Not only did I have another AVM, I also had an aneurysm that had already begun to bleed.

Had I not listened to God's prompting to pursue surgery, I likely would not be here today to tell this story.

There is no doubt in my mind that God was protecting me long before I realized I needed protection.

In total, I underwent three brain surgeries.

Today, my skull is held together with five square plates, one rectangular plate, one four-hole straight plate, three burr-hole covers, thirty-six 4 mm screws, and eight 3 mm screws.

To some, they're pieces of metal.

To me, they're reminders of God's faithfulness.

The months that followed surgery were some of the hardest of my life.

Because of complications from the aneurysm bleed, I was left legally blind. I couldn't walk. I couldn't eat independently. I couldn't even sit upright on my own. Everything I had once taken for granted had to be relearned through hours of therapy, determination, and countless setbacks.

Every day, I clung to one promise from Scripture. I repeated it over and over until it became part of me:

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

Recovery was long.

It was painful.

There were days I wondered if life would ever be normal again.

But Isaiah 40:31 became my hope: "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint."

Slowly through God's incredible grace, I regained what had been lost.

Today, most people have no idea I've undergone three brain surgeries. Most people don't know I was once legally blind. Most people don't know I had to learn how to walk again. God is a God of healing and restoration.

When I read about Jesus healing the blind man in John 9, I'm reminded that Jesus still sees people in their brokenness.

My eyesight isn't perfect. I still have limitations. But God restored my vision far beyond what doctors expected. Most days I can even see well without glasses.

That restoration is something I will never stop thanking Him for.

My journey didn't end there.

I was told I wouldn't walk again, but before the year was over, I ran my first 5k.

I still live with seizures.

I still face difficult days.

Faith has not exempted me from suffering.

But it has given me Someone to cling to through it.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."

Looking back, I can see God's fingerprints over every chapter.

He didn't always remove the storm, He just became my anchor in it.

Romans 8:28 reminds us, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

Those surgeries didn't just save my life, they deepened my faith. They taught me that God's plans are greater than my fears, His presence is stronger than my circumstances, and His voice is always worth trusting.

If you're walking through a valley today, I pray you remember this promise from Joshua 1:9:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

I don't know what your story looks like.

But I do know this –

The same God who carried me through brain surgery, blindness, and recovery is the same God who walks beside you today.

And if He's still writing your story, then He's not finished yet.